A Special Message on Sudan from Bette Midler

Ms. Midler asked that I post this message for her in hopes that you would take the time to read about the crisis happening in Darfur. They need our help. Please read and pass the message on to all of your friends. I’ll also put up a special link in the red box that you can pass around easily to friends and family.

Sincerely, Mister D


Dear Friends,

Like many of you, I have recently been deeply affected by the terrible suffering of the people of Darfur, Sudan. Over the last two years, over 380,000 people have died, and 2 million driven from their homes by a brutal campaign of repression by the Sudanese government. Darfur’s women have been targeted for systematic rape and brutality. All this time the world has failed to take effective action, and we have stood by and watched, just as we did with the Rwandan genocide 10 years ago.

This terrible inhumanity must stop. It affects all of us, because we are all connected in one human family. But to stop it you and I need to rise up and be heard. We CAN stop the killing, if we can persuade our government to put enough pressure on the Sudanese government and its allies to make them stop. Please take just 3 minutes today, right now, to send a strong message to our leaders, sign a petition, or donate money to advocacy or humanitarian aid. You can do these things by clicking below and visiting DarfurGenocide.org:

  • www.darfurgenocide.org
  • Click here to send a message to President Bush.
  • Click here to donate to advocacy or humanitarian aid.
  • Thanks so much for your time. There is always hope, let’s keep it alive for our brothers and sisters in Darfur, and be their heroes.

    Sincerely,

    Bette Midler

    Well I Was Better Than The Band! And The Company! :-)

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    Jumpin' Jack Flash

    >>Click Here for Dialup Version< <

    La la la…”memories light the corner of my mind…”

    Wow, here I am on stage with a band in the Cayman Islands! The year: 1990! At this time I was an area manager for a chain of record stores called “The Sound Shop.”

    Anyway, I was asked to participate in the Sound Shop talent show. The band and performers were all employees of Sound Shop…there was no rehearsal whatsoever…that’s why I didn’t want to participate in the first place…but I was asked at the last minute and the songs given to me were “jumpin jack flash” and “knockin on heaven’s door”. The event was to take place on the Cayman Islands and I figured I couldn’t be worse than anyone else (or I could just get really drunk and muddle though). I had never performed live before in my life, so I was really nervous.

    Well, it turned out I stole the show and was even asked to do an encore performance the following night for the bigwigs. (the video you see here). My first night was better, but hey, nobody seems to have a film of that. I still wouldn’t make American Idol though and I surely was over their age limit then…LOL

    First night…awesome…had a cool outfit…leotards down to the knee, muscle tee, and a tux jacket…black converse hi-tops…and let’s not forget the dangling skull earring….ended up with some groupies from the wrong sex….dammit!!! Wrote a monologue a la Bette Midler….had my moves down…a cross between Jagger and Midler mixed in with my own little signature moves! :-) Just a great evening.

    The encore performance (the one you see here) leaves much to be desired, but some heavy drama went down after the first performance later that night right up to this encore performance the next night. Let’s just say sexual harrassment was involved and it came from up above…a supervisor. But this is where I learned to pull myself up by my jock strap and say, ” baby, the show must go on!”

    Eventually I left the company after 2 years of the most sexist, homophobic behaviour I have ever experienced. I had a very successful run at this company, but I had to get out of that environment while I was on top. (no pun intended)

    After my tenure at the Sound Shop, I went back to school and majored in a whole new line of work…but this video that I happened across was a nice souvenir from those days. Even though it brought back bittersweet memories, I loved working with all my employees and some of my fellow managers. Too bad “the suits” were such dicks.

    Hope you enjoy my debut and farewell concert….LOL

    Love, Mister D

    PS: Half the band hated my guts….the guy in the pajama bottoms told me beforehand to just sing into the microphone and don’t move….well, f**k that shit…I learned from the pros!!!! :-)

    My Reading List: 03-07-05

    Frontier Justice: Weapons of Mass Destruction and the Bushwhacking of America
    by Scott Ritter

    Product Description:

    Frontier Justice exposes the fraudulent manner in which President Bush and Company’s new scheme of world domination has been sold to Congress and the American people, especially through the “Big Lie” about the threat posed by Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction. A former Marine intelligence officer who served in the 1991 Gulf War and led U.N. weapons inspection efforts in Iraq until his resignation in 1998, Ritter dissects this myth and reveals how Bush carried out the international equivalent of a west Texas lynch mob, forcing his own brand of frontier justice in the Middle East.


    The Big Show : High Times and Dirty Dealings Backstage at the Academy Awards
    by Steve Pond

    From Publishers Weekly

    Entertainment journalist Pond (Premiere; etc.) opens this bluntly informative look at the “negotiations and machinations, the politics, the compromises and the excesses” of the Academy Award process by discussing the legendary tastelessness of the show Allan Carr produced in 1989, a production so savaged by critics that it destroyed his reputation (it began with Snow White and Rob Lowe performing a “Proud Mary” duet, prompting a lawsuit from Disney). Pond covers Oscar’s early history, including such injustices as Norma Shearer’s 1930 win over Greta Garbo, a victory triggered by MGM’s orders that employees vote for studio chief Irving Thalberg’s wife (“What do you expect?” Joan Crawford famously commented. “She sleeps with the boss”). He devotes many pages to the disastrous choice of David Letterman as host in 1995, whose excruciating jokes (“Oprah. Uma. Uma. Oprah”) and pet tricks set a ludicrous tone; and cites Madonna’s profane tirades during a 1991 rehearsal. The book covers Academy campaigns over the past 15 years, and effectively dramatizes how the show changed under the leadership styles of Richard and Lili Zanuck and current producer Gil Cates. Little-known anecdotes about Bob Dylan, Barbra Streisand, Julia Roberts, Billy Crystal and Halle Berry confirm that Pond knows this backstabbing territory well, and fans of Hollywood gossip will find plenty of colorful new material.


    Drop City
    by T. Coraghessan Boyle

    From Publishers Weekly

    Boyle has a wonderful eye for the comedy of imposture when the self-deceived themselves practice deception. His ninth novel, which centers on the travails of a hippie commune, Drop City, in the early ’70s, gives him plenty of poseurs to work with. Drop City, in Sonoma County, Calif., is run, in a manner of speaking, by a gold-toothed purveyor of Aquarian notions, Norm Sender. The Drop City family includes Pan (aka Ronnie) and his high school pal Star (aka Paulette Regina Starr), who have fled from the East Coast together; two rather predatory black dudes; and a variegated crew of longhaired “cats” and flower-child “chicks.” Star, sweet but often naive, is the opposite of Pan, beneath whose free love patter lurks an unnerving rapacity. Star soon hooks up with Marco, whose solid virtues are concealed beneath his veil of hair. When “The Man,” in the person of the Sonoma County sheriff’s department, condemns the property, Norm, who has inherited other property far away in Boynton, Alaska, proposes a tribal migration north. Meanwhile, the news in Boynton is that local trapper Cecil “Sess” Harder is marrying Pamela McCoon, after an eccentric courtship ritual. Sess’s major problem lately has been a violent feud with Joe Bosky, the local bush pilot. When the Drop City hippie bus rolls into Boynton, a comic clash of civilizations ensues. Building utopia upriver from the Harders, Drop City’s denizens discover that polar climes demand rather drastic behavioral adaptations. Boyle understands the multitudinous, sneaky ways innocence insulates itself from ambiguity-but in this novel he leavens that cynical insight with genuine sweetness. While the Day-Glo of the hippie era has long since faded, this novel brings it all back home-and helps us see how much in the American grain it all really was.


    Still Holding
    by Bruce Wagner

    From Publishers Weekly

    Alternately brilliant and cluttered, this baroque third volume of Wagner’s loose Hollywood trilogy (following the much-praised I’m Losing You and I’ll Let You Go), moves along in fits and starts, crammed with celebrity cameos and sharp social commentary. The fable follows the workaday, neurotically self-absorbed lives of wannabe actress Becca, who hires out for trade shows as a Drew Barrymore look-alike, and Lisanne, a pathetically overweight secretary who, because of her morbid fear of flying, takes the Amtrak back home to Albany, arriving minutes too late to say good-bye to her dying father. These two women find their lives inexorably shaped by the karma of 34-year-old movie icon Kit Lightfoot (People magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive”), a Buddhist who has meditated every day for almost 13 years. Lisanne returns to L.A. pregnant after a one-night stand with her high school flame. Slowly withdrawing deeper into neurosis, she becomes obsessed with Buddhism after her boss sends her to deliver a mandala to Kit. Suffering a severely debilitating brain injury when a disgruntled autograph hunter hits him in the head with a bottle, rich Kit is, poetically, nursed back to health by his grasping father. Ambitious Becca is hired as a cameo corpse on HBO’s Six Feet Under and winds up girl Friday to TV sitcom queen Viv, Kit’s fiance, who is shacking up with Kit’s best pal. The irony verges on the farcical as Kit struggles to get his life back and the identity of his attacker is revealed. Though Wagner packs his twists too tight, leaving the reader gasping for air, this convoluted chiaroscuro offers probing insights into the human condition.

    Oscar Afterthought….

    Well I guess the right wing pundits, journalists, nutjobs can breath a sigh of relief that Chris Rock didn’t drop the F-bomb…in fact, he was downright congenial. So now I guess we go back to the regular programming of bashing gays, stalking cartoon characters, and hating liberals.

    HCA Presents Oscar Night America 2005

    HCA Presents Oscar Night America 2005
    At The Belcourt Theatre
    Sunday, February 27, 2005
    Nashville, TN

    This is where Barry and I (Mister D) will be heading tonight. Here is the press release that tells all about it. Hopefully I can add my own 2 cents later this week:

    On February 27, 2005 at 7 p.m., The Belcourt Theatre will once again host the glitzy Oscar Night® America black-tie gala, the primary fundraiser for the historic Hillsboro Village theatre.

    Attendees stroll the red carpet, sample gourmet food from some of Nashville’s finest restaurants, and watch the live Academy Awards® telecast in HDTV on the theatre’s movie screens. In addition to providing critical financial support for the ongoing operations of Nashville’s only historic non-profit theatre and its rich schedule of live music, theater and film, Oscar Night® America at the Belcourt is Nashville’s best Oscar party.

    SPONSORS:
    Oscar Night America at the Belcourt is made possible by the generous support of HCA, American Home Mortgage, Law Offices of Bart Durham, Vanderbilt University and Medical Center, Caterpillar Financial, Freeman Webb Company, Gaylord Entertainment, Jack Daniel Distillery, Worth Properties, William Morris Agency, Sheriff Daron Hall, the Nashville Scene and NFocus magazine.

    Thanks Channel 2 for supporting Oscar Night!

    Artoolio and Dylan

    CONDITIONAL WITNESS ORDER

    Police Statement of: Dylan Stone
    Date of Birth: 7-04-1955
    Occupation of Witness: House Cleaning Services
    Address: Franklin, TN

    My name is Dylan Stone and I am the owner of Man Maid, Inc., a house cleaning service for gay men, lonely women, or any one desperate for a home makeover. I was called in by police to answer questions about my best friend, Artoolio Sharpino, and his mishap.

    Artoolio, an accountant, and I have been friends since I moved to Franklin over 10 years ago. In fact, he was one of my first customers. Since he was close to my age, somewhat of a loner, and much more masculine than I, he was the perfect foil for me to bounce off my many barbed, but comical remarks. He was uptight about his sexual orientation, unlike my self, but he was not one to hide it, either.

    Things started becoming tense with us around the Kerry-Bush elections. I had always considered myself an Independent, and Artoolio was a devout Republican-something I never understood. How could he vote constantly against his own self interests? And ever since September 11, he even joined a choir at The Church of Christ. I didn’t even think they tolerated people of our kind, and I guess I was right. Anyway, things got worse. He began to take all that Republican rhetoric to heart: “You’re either with us or against us,” and that insipid “shop til you drop” mantra that so many sacrificed themselves for in the name of helping America win the battle against terror. Well I wasn’t falling for any of it.

    Soon, Artoolio had the biggest American flag protruding from his mailbox. He sold his car for the biggest Hummer he could find. At first I found the Freudian implications amusing, but I began to seethe with fury. Not only were these gas guzzlers, but they were extremely unattractive. His house had also become a haven for Amazon.com purchases that were never opened. There were unopened boxes of things throughout the house, i.e., a Soloflex machine, cat furniture, Christmas villages, and build it yourself birdhouses.

    We had been bickering for weeks over our political views and what was happening to our friendship, but we decided to get together for his birthday and lay all politics aside. My date and I arrived at 7:00 PM. Imagine my surprise when I saw his Hummer covered in bilious magnetic bumper stickers calling Kerry a flip flopper, Bush a cowboy, and one proclaiming his disdain for welfare mothers being kept cushy on his dime. In a rage I moved all the bumper stickers to the roof of his truck. I ran back to my car and pulled out a bumper sticker I had longed to place on that tank of his for some time with the words “Gays Love Bush, Too!” At least this slogan was true, I thought. I wanted the world to know how ignorant my friend was.

    I felt vindicated when he opened the door. He and his boyfriend were wearing matching “W” sweatshirts and slippers! How dare he! This was supposed to be a bi-partisan birthday. I kept my cool throughout the evening, even though there was much to endure. Republican screeds were strewn all over the place. Had Artoolio no respect for himself? These people hated him for who he was and here he was supporting them. Puh-leeze, there was one book, “Bulimia, Coulter Style: Eat A Liberal, Throw It Up!” Believe me, the night hit rock bottom when we were served “W” ketchup with our Liberty Fries. That was it for me! I thanked Artoolio for a nice evening and left. I swore then our friendship was over.

    This morning I received a call from the police to come down to the station. They had found Artoolio in the church parking lot beaten to death. I was able to identify his body, but I couldn’t get the image out of my head of that small wooden cross embedded in his forehead.

    Well, there you have it. The truth is that some gays love Bush, too, and people should be aware of it.

    Why people vote against their own self interests still baffles me.

    Am I in trouble?

    Signed,

    Dylan Stone

    my mental douche