Great Lists Of Books To Read!

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 20/08/2008
Category: General «No Comments»

* 100 Must-Read Books: The Essential Man’s Library

* 30 Books Everyone Should Read Before Their 30th Birthday

* TIME magazine’s All-Time Greatest 100 Novel

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“She Left Me For Jesus” - Hayes Carll

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 19/08/2008
Category: General «No Comments»

Mister D: All I can say is lighten up peeps. Yes, it’s offensive and funny!

She Left Me For Jesus

WE”VE BEEN DATIN SINCE HIGH SCHOOL WE NEVER ONCE LEFT THIS TOWN
WE USE TO GO OUT ON THE WEEKENDS AND WE”D DRINK TIL WE DROWNED
BUT NOW SHES ACTING FUNNY AND I DONT UNDERSTAND
I THINK THAT SHES FOUND HER SOME OTHER MAN

CHORUS:

SHE LEFT ME FOR JESUS AND THAT JUST AINT FAIR
SHE SAYS THAT HES PERFECT HOW COULD I COMPARE
SHE SAYS I SHOULD FIND HIM AND ILL KNOW PEACE AT LAST
IF I EVER FIND JESUS IM KICKIN HIS ASS

SHE SHOWED ME A PICTURE ALL I COULD DO WAS STARE
AT THAT FREAK IN HIS SANDALS WITH HIS LONG PRETTY HAIR
THEY MUST THINK THAT IM STUPID OR I DONT HAVE A CLUE
ILL BET HES A COMMIE OR EVER WORSE YET A JEW

REPEAT CHORUS

SHES GIVEN UP WHISKEY AND AH TAKIN UP WINE
WHILE SHE PRAYS FOR HIS TROUBLES SHES FORGOT ABOUT MINE
IM A GONNA GET EVEN I CANT HANDLE THE SHAME
WHY LAST TIME WE MADE LOVE SHE EVEN CALLED OUT HIS NAME

REPEAT CHORUS

IT COULDA BEEN CARLOS OR EVEN BILLY ORTEZ
BUT IF I EVER FIND JESUS
HES GONNA WISH HE WAS DEAD AMEN

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Three Hours For A F**king Taxi

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 16/08/2008
Category: General «No Comments»

Bootleg Betty
Three Hours For A Fucking Taxi
(first and only draft)
By The Divine Mister D
August 13, 2008

Wow, here I am standing outside the Horseshoe Casino in Hammond, Indiana where young valet men and women are retaining the owner’s cars….hundreds of them. The air is thick with fumes from their exhaust (not the owners, the cars). I just saw the World’s Greatest Entertainer, Bette Midler, great company with Jeremy as my guest, great seats, VIP (should stand for Very Insecure People) passes, Divine Bette Midler and Bootleg Betty fans (Kim, Troy, Vance, and Mark), a surprise backstage encounter with the The Fat City Horns, Bette Sussman, the gorgeous Harlette, Kamilah Martin Marshall, and my friend, Bette’s comedy writer, Eric Kornfeld (Korny).

(one of the few horrid pictures I took in the Very Insecure Persons lounge…wow it’s a showgirl. Believe me they didn’t look attractive trying to come down from their pedastals for a bathroom break)

Yes, all this happened to me, but all I could think about, thankfully without crying, was “Where the fuck is my TAXI???? I had been standing in this polluted purgatory for 3 hours. THREE HOURS!!!!! Finally, through the smoke-filled, horseshoe shaped entrance, I saw a taxi. It was mine, mine, mine…I didn’t care that I had to share it with some loud-mouthed girl who screamed out every sentence or question. She could talk and text at the same time. I just answered her with my controlled, sexy sounding gay voice that I kept quite low since the fumes had burned a whole in my throat and tonsils. I literally felt like a frog and probably looked like one, too. Why won’t she shut up???? The whole Hammond experience, especially this very day, had taken it’s toll.

But I was so grateful to have had this whole experience, it just didn’t matter in the long run. I had posted earlier about starving in my hotel because there were no food places within walking distance, but by the grace of some divinity, BetteHead Kim, whom I had met before at a Bette show (KMB) in Chicago, had seats close to mine….as a joke she brought me a bag of snacks, which I’m ashamed to say, I scarfed down while in the parking lot…I even ate the whole pack of Orbits to keep my throat moist. I had wanted to save those snacks to eat slowly, savoring each morsel, but instead I devoured them as if it were my last meal. Thank you, thank you, thank God for Kim, the Wind Beneath My Wings. I know I would have died without that sustenance - Skittles, Orbits, Snickers, and more.

After we dropped off the Queen of Blackberry, I settled in for my trip to the hotel. I told the driver how long I had waited (he said I should have called for a taxi when I first arrived at the Horseshoe and told them what time to pick me up…nice to know if I come back to Hammond).

I told him I was late to meet my “date” Jeremy before the show, because the taxi driver just decided not to come pick me up at The Fairfield Inn. I was so blessed to have a manager of a hotel feel sorry for me and actually drive me to the show. I mean that is what I call customer service and I tipped very well.

Once I got to the casino, I found Jeremy and we went to the “will call” to pick up our tickets. We were surprised to find they were already paid for and we had VIP passes. I argued with the girl saying there must be a mistake because I had not paid for my tickets and she kept saying you don’t have to. I figured I was being treated as press or something. After all I had devoted 6 years pressing Bette Midler. Did I feel guilty? Sure! Did I want to argue about it? Fuck No!

The place we ended up….the VIP section….well, it was on the decadent side for a midwest and a southern boy. Showgirls on pedastals and Showboys on pedastals - their ass cracks sticking out and those bubble butts…and wow those abs…who cared about the Showgirls. Sorry, but why do guys that look like that have to ruin it my talking. Just my opinion.

(I’m only fascinated by the Big Fish Merry Go Round thingie. I’m easily amused. Face it, I.m not a photograper, but an observer. Jeremy must think I’m a dolt!)

There was a live band in one part and a DJ in another…the music colliding like the thoughts in my head. Both Jeremy and I walked around mostly stupified. We stopped and got some drinks, tried to talk over the noise, and ate some of the many foods offered….half the time I didn’t know what I was eating nor did I care.

Later on, reps from the hotel would tell us to hurry up and get seated. The seats were great and this was where I had the pleasure of seeing some BetteHeads…Kim, Troy (her husband), Vance, and Mark. The show was great and I’ve posted the set list and some reviews. Nothing else need be said. It was a spectacular evening, glitzy, but no frills, proving Miss M could hold her own very well without expensive sets. I will say the songs that stood out for me were a stunning version of “I Think It’s Going To Rain Today,” a much jazzier version of “Tenderly” where Ms. Midler showed off some spectacular control in her lower register, and of course “The Rose” trilogy…the title song, Midnight In Memphis, and the intense “When A Man Loves A Woman.” Also the segue from the Soph jokes to a beautiful ukelele version of “Glory of Love” was absolutely tear inducing. Yes, Bette was mean by doing that version and making me cry. Yes, I said it!!!

(Dan Falcone (Fat City Horns), longtime guitarist Mike Miller, Bette Sussman, Mister D, Rob Hader (Fat City Horns). There were others in the group but didn’t make the picture but it was such a pleasure meeting them all)

After the show, Jeremy and I went back to the after party to get one more drink. I was standing off to the side with my mouth hanging wide open trying to take in everything. Suddenly an arm grabbed me and I heard someone say something like “what the hell does it take to get your attention…do you want to go backstage or not.” I grabbed Jeremy so quick, I think I almost broke his neck. We looked like 3 ballerinas holding hands tip toe running backstage. The guy was Eric Kornfeld whom I interviewed not long ago for Bootleg Betty, Bette’s main comedy writer and someone I’ve learned to call “friend.”

(Mister D and comedy writer, Eric Kornfeld)

We were taken back where the “dignitaries” lined up to see Bette after she did her “press” obligations. I figured Jeremy and I were the “indignitaries” Jeremy looked fine, but I looked like a wet noodle. My shirt and hair were soaked…not sure why. We were told there was a good chance we wouldn’t meet Bette and I was completely fine with that thinking about the hard show she put on, then having to do press, and then meeting VIP’s. I just knew it wasn’t in the stars for me to meet with Bette again.

(The sassy, beautiful Bette Sussman and Mister D - notice I’m clutching Kim’s bag of goodies for me - before the show I also had bangs!)

But I did have my eye on the band, the Harlettes (especially Ms. Marshall), Bette Sussman (met 3 years ago several times), and Shayna Steele (the last 3 from the hilarious Video Bloooog It). I really wanted pictures with them. I never have a camera, but I brought one this time. Eric was so cool and lined up all the perps for me, but we were shooed away while waiting for Ms. Steele. But I’m meant to meet her….so next time, girlfriend!!!!

(the beautiful, talented, and shining light of Harlette, Kamilah Marshall, and Mister D)

Jeremy decided to leave right after that and I decided to calm down with one beer and then I decided to leave……

THREE HOURS FOR A FUCKING TAXI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love, Mister D

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Got Bruce? Now You Can Thanks To Logo/Netflix Partnership

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 12/08/2008
Category: General «No Comments»

Hello friends:

Exciting news!! You will now be able to see more of Bruce Vilanch whenever you want!

Netflix members: Click here to visit the exclusive Logo section and rent Wisecrack Season One and OutLaugh on Wisecrack now!

Not a member? Click here to see what you’re missing!

Go now, check out the trailers, and add them your rental list!

And don’t forget to check Logo Online: Click Here

Much love and renting,

Mister D

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HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 30/07/2008
Category: General «No Comments»

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

• Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
• 
  In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
• Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
• If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
• Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
• Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
• Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
• Practice making fax and modem noises.
• Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
• Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
• Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
• Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
• Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
• Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
• Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
• Staple pages in the middle of the page.
• Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
• Honk and wave to strangers.
• Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
• TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
• type only in lowercase.
• dont use any punctuation either
• Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
• Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
  “DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
  “What?”
  “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
• As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
• Ask people what gender they are.
• While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
• Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
• Sing along at the opera.
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
• Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”

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Break The Nice Guy Habit!

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 22/07/2008
Category: General «No Comments»

How to Break the “Nice Guy” Stereotype

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
You’ve probably heard the phrase “nice guys finish last” and perhaps you’ve experienced it as you watch pushy, inconsiderate guys get the job or the girl you long for. It doesn’t seem fair, does it? There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but when you’re so nice to everyone that you stop being nice to yourself, your efforts can backfire. Here are some ways to show people that you value yourself, and that they should value you, too.

Steps

1. Stop agreeing with everyone and everything. That doesn’t mean that you should disagree or argue for its own sake, but you’re your own person with your own opinions and preferences. If you find yourself agreeing with everyone, you might be undercutting your individuality. Think for yourself and speak up. Not every disagreement is an argument, and a difference of opinion can sometimes lead to interesting discussion in which you learn a great deal about how a person thinks and how they feel about a lot of things.
2. Stop being a people pleaser. Don’t bend over backwards to accommodate everyone except yourself. If you identify with the “nice guy” dilemma, you’re probably a kind person who loves to help people, and that’s wonderful. But don’t be so humble that you become a slave to everyone else’s needs and expectations. It’s healthy to have your own needs and goals, and to fulfill them and help others at the same time, without putting someone else’s priorities way above yours. Avoid “parasitic” relationships where you give, give, give and never get. Strive to form mutually beneficial relationships.
   • Learn to say no. When people ask you to do something that you don’t feel comfortable doing, for whatever reason, you have every right to decline. There are manipulative people in the world who will make you feel guilty (in a very subtle way). Learn how to recognize a controlling or manipulative relationship and break the pattern.
   • Use nonviolent communication to convey your discomfort, concerns or needs. Some people are taught that it’s not nice to say anything negative, but the fact is that there are conflicts in life and they need to be addressed in order to be resolved so we can have healthy, balanced and happy relationships. By learning gentle communication skills, such as giving a feedback sandwich, you’ll feel much better about discussing topics that you would normally avoid.
3. Draw the line. Don’t allow people to disrespect or ignore you. Stand up for yourself. If a co-worker steals your idea and passes it off as his own, you’re not being nice by letting it slide. You’re being cowardly. If a woman doesn’t show up for a date and doesn’t even bother to call beforehand or afterwards to explain, you’re not being nice by overlooking her lack of consideration. You’re being a doormat.
4. Pace yourself. Be patient with yourself and with others. At work, this means not biting off more than you can chew. In dating, it means not getting too attached too quickly. Don’t give someone everything they want, all at once, and expect nothing in return. Every relationship is a two-way street.
   • At work, do you regularly stay late without being asked? Do you volunteer to help more than others, or pick up the slack for your co-workers? By doing this, you’re communicating to your boss and co-workers that your time is not valuable; you give it away frequently and without being asked, and you never indicate that there’s anything else you’d like to do with your time, and they might even be convinced that you enjoy staying late and working extra hard. To bring some balance back into the situation, there are a few things you can do:
     • If your boss is giving you all the extra work because you do a better job than your co-workers, then ask for a raise or promotion.
     • Ask your boss about hiring another staff person, or rotating who stays late until the work load subsides. Ask your boss how long he or she estimates the late nights will be necessary.
   • When dating, don’t shower a romantic interest with flowers, stuffed animals, jewelry, expensive dinners, a cruise, etc. in the very beginning. You’re in the courtship phase, but she needs to show that she’s worthy of being your mate as well. Save the bulk of your affection and gifts for someone who has proven that she’ll support and appreciate you.
     • Wait for her to reach out to you once in a while. How do you know she wants to spend time with you if you’re always the one calling and suggesting it?
     • Continue spending time with your friends and pursuing your interests even when you’re dating. Don’t allow a romantic prospect to consume your life.
5. Remember that you don’t NEED anyone to be happy. Once you feel you “need” something, as in you want it so badly that you’d do almost anything to get it, and it’s something that only someone else can give to you (i.e. someone else’s approval, regard, or affection) you essentially put your happiness completely in someone else’s control. In other words, you give them all the power, making yourself appear weak and “needy”. Instead, base your self-worth on your own actions and efforts, rather than on how others perceive you. Rejection and criticism is difficult to deal with, but sometimes it’s undeserved. Don’t spend your whole life trying avoid people thinking negatively of you. Do what you feel is right, no matter what anyone else thinks. All you need to be happy, ultimately, is self-respect.
6. Continue being nice. The niceness isn’t what gets the stereotypical nice guy into trouble. You can be a gentleman without being a pushover. You can be sweet without being suffocating. You can be humble without being self-deprecating. It’s all about finding a good balance. Surround yourself with nice people who will consider you as much as you consider them, and do your best to teach others how they can be nice to you and in general.
7. “Stand up for yourself.” There are plenty of people out there that rather than do the assignment themselves they will pass it on to you, or even volunteer you to take over a particular project, without even asking you if you’re busy or not. Don’t accept it. Tell them you need to review your workload first. Also let that person know that they should have been considerate to ask you before hand. If you do get dumped on (and you accept) then by all means don’t take on the whole project by yourself. You would be setting yourself up for failure or worse, if you do a great job than it’ll be your assignment for all eternity. Ask for an assistant or two that way down the road you can come up with your own excuse to back out and leave it in their hands.

Tips

• Since you already know how to be nice, work on building your confidence and being bold–two traits that the stereotypical “nice guy” is commonly perceived to lack.
• There’s a difference between appreciating a woman and worshipping her. We’re all human–by putting her on a pedestal, you’re not only fostering an unhealthy balance in the relationship, but you’re also creating a set of unrealistic expectations for her. That kind of pressure can make someone feel like she can’t be herself around you.
• Every now and then, think of the biggest jerk you know and act like him. Women love that. They say they hate it, but it’s not true. If they didn’t love it, why would they go back for more of that kind of thing over and over? (Yes, it’s illogical.)

Related wikiHows

• How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
• How to Be Bold
• How to Say No Respectfully
• How to Be a Man

Sources and Citations

• Why “Nice Guys” are often such LOSERS
• ABC News: Why Nice Guys Finish Last

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world’s largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Break the “Nice Guy” Stereotype. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

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NOMINATIONS FOR THE 60TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS
(Ceremony will be held on Saturday, September 13th)

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 17/07/2008
Category: General «No Comments»

This morning, July 17th 2008 the nominations for the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards were announced by Kristin Chenoweth and Neil Patrick Harris. The awards ceremony will be held on Saturday, September 13th at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles. The nominees were led by HBO and popular shows such as “The Daily Show”, “Grey’s Anatomy”, “Entrouage” and this year, “John Adams”. Kristen Chenoweth herself picked up a nomination for her work on “Pushing Daisies”. For a complete list of the nominees please Click HERE.

NOMINATIONS FOR THE 60TH PRIMETIME EMMY AWARDS:

COMEDY SERIES
30 Rock (NBC)
Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO)
Entourage (HBO)
The Office (NBC)
Two and a Half Men (CBS)

DRAMA SERIES
Boston Legal (ABC)
Damages (FX)
Dexter (Showtime)
House (Fox)
Lost (ABC)
Mad Men (AMC)

MINISERIES
“The Andromeda Strain” (A&E)
“Cranford” (Masterpiece Theatre)
“John Adams” (HBO)
“Tin Man” (Sci Fi Channel)

ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Alec Baldwin 30 Rock (NBC)
Steve Carell The Office (NBC)
Lee Pace Pushing Daisies (ABC)
Charlie Sheen Two and a Half Men (CBS)
Tony Shalhoub Monk (USA)

ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Gabriel Byrne In Treatment (HBO)
Bryan Cranston Breaking Bad (AMC)
Michael C. Hall Dexter (Showtime)
Jon Hamm Mad Men (AMC)
Hugh Laurie House (Fox)
James Spader Boston Legal (ABC)

ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Christina Applegate Samantha Who?(ABC)
America Ferrera Ugly Betty (ABC)
Tina Fey 30 Rock (NBC)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS)
Mary-Louise Parker Weeds (Showtime)

ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Glenn Close Damages (FX)
Sally Field Brothers & Sisters (ABC)
Mariska Hargitay Law and Order: SVU (NBC)
Holly Hunter Saving Grace (TNT)
Kyra Sedgwick The Closer (TNT)

REALITY HOST
Tom Bergeron - “Dancing With the Stars”
Heidi Klum - “Project Runway”
Howie Mandel - “Deal or No Deal”
Jeff Probst - “Survivor”
Ryan Seacrest - “American Idol”

MADE FOR TELEVISION MOVIE
“Bernard And Doris” - (HBO)
“Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale” - (HBO) ”
“The Memory Keeper’s Daughter” - (Lifetime)
“A Raisin In The Sun” - (ABC)
“Recount” - (HBO)

REALITY
“Antiques Roadshow” - (PBS)
“Dirty Jobs” - (Discovery Channel)
“Extreme Makeover Home Edition” - (ABC)
“Intervention” - (A&E)
“Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List” - (Bravo)

REALITY HOST
Tom Bergeron - “Dancing With the Stars”
Heidi Klum - “Project Runway”
Howie Mandel - “Deal or No Deal”
Jeff Probst - “Survivor”
Ryan Seacrest - “American Idol”

REALITY COMPETITION PROGRAM
“The Amazing Race” - (CBS)
“American Idol” - (FOX)
“Dancing With The Stars” - (ABC)
“Project Runway” - (Bravo)
“Top Chef” - (Bravo)

ACTOR IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Ralph Fiennes - “Bernard And Doris” (HBO)
Ricky Gervais - “Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale” (HBO)
Paul Giamatti - “John Adams” (HBO)
Kevin Spacey - “Recount” (HBO)
Tom Wilkinson - “Recount” (HBO)

ACTRESS IN A MINISERIES OR MOVIE
Catherine Keener - “An American Crime” (Showtime)
Susan Sarandon - “Bernard And Doris” (HBO)
Dame Judi Dench - “Cranford” (Masterpiece Theatre)
Laura Linney - “John Adams” (HBO )
Phylicia Rashad - “A Raisin In The Sun” (ABC)

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY
Jon Cryer - “Two and a Half Men” (CBS)
Kevin Dillon - “Entourage” (HBO)
Neil Patrick Harris - “How I Met Your Mother” (CBS)
Jeremy Piven - “Entourage” (HBO)
Rainn Wilson - “The Office” (NBC)

SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA
Ted Danson - “Damages” (FX)
Michael Emerson - “Lost” (ABC)
Zeljko Ivanek - “Damages” (FX)
T.R. Knight - “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC)
William Shatner - “Boston Legal” (ABC)
John Slattery - “Mad Men” (AMC)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY
Kristin Chenoweth - “Pushing Daisies” (ABC)
Amy Poehler - “Saturday Night Live” (NBC)
Jean Smart - “Samantha Who?” (ABC)
Holland Taylor - “Two and a Half Men” (CBS)
Vanessa Williams - “Ugly Betty” (ABC)

SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA
Candice Bergen - “Boston Legal” (ABC)
Rachel Griffiths - “Brothers and Sisters” (ABC)
Christina Hendricks - “Mad Men” (AMC)
Sandra Oh - “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC)
Dianne Wiest - “In Treatment” (HBO)
Chandra Wilson - “Grey’s Anatomy” (ABC)

Outstanding Art Direction For A Variety, Music Or Nonfiction Programming
2007 MTV Video Music Awards
50th Annual Grammy Awards
80th Annual Academy Awards
Hell’s Kitchen • Episode # 401
MADtv • Episode # 1315

Outstanding Original Music And Lyrics
Disney Phineas And Ferb • Song: ‘I Ain’t Got No Rhythm’ • Disney Channel • Walt Disney TV Animation in association with Disney Channel
Danny Jacob, Music by Jeff ‘Swampy’ Marsh, Written by Robert F. Hughes, Written by Martin Olson, Written by Dan Povenmire, Written by

Flight Of The Conchords • Song: ‘The Most Beautiful Girl (In the Room)’ • HBO • Dakota Pictures and Comedy Arts in association with HBO Entertainment Bret McKenzie, Composer and Lyricist Jemaine Clement, Composer and Lyricist

Flight Of The Conchords • Song: ‘Inner City Pressure’ • HBO • Dakota Pictures and Comedy Arts in association with HBO Entertainment Bret McKenzie, Composer and Lyricist Jemaine Clement, Composer and Lyricist James Bobin, Lyricist

Jimmy Kimmel Live • Song: ‘I’m F***ing Matt Damon’ • ABC • Jackhole Industries in association with ABC Studios Sarah Silverman, Writer/Composer Tony Baubirei, Writer/Composer Wayne McClaucey, Writer/Composer Sal Lacono, Writer/Composer Dan Warner, Writer/Composer

MADtv • Song: ‘Sad Fitty Cent’ • FOX • Girl Group Company Greg O’Connor, Music and Lyrics by Jordan Peele, Music and Lyrics by Jim Wise, Music and Lyrics by

Outstanding Music Composition for A Miniseries, Movie or Special
Bernard And Doris
John Adam
Masters Of Science Fiction
Oprah Winfrey Presents: Mitch Albom’s For One More Day
Sense & Sensibility (Masterpiece Theatre)
The Company

Outstanding Music Composition For A Series (original Dramatic Score)
Family Guy • Lois Kills Stewie
House • Guardian Angels
Little People, Big World • Roloff Road Trip: Grand Canyon
Lost • The Constant
Pushing Daisies • Pigeon
The Simpsons • Treehouse of Horror XVIII

Outstanding Music Direction
50th Annual Grammy Awards
80th Annual Academy Awards
The Seventies
Christmas In Washington
Movies Rock

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Miniseries Or Movie
A Raisin In The Sun - Audra McDonald as Ruth Younger
Cranford (Masterpiece Theatre)- Eileen Atkins as Miss Deborah Jenkyns
Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale- Ashley Jensen as Maggie Jacobs
Pictures Of Hollis Woods- Alfre Woodard as Edna Reilly
Recount - Laura Dern as Katherine Harris

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series
30 Rock • NBC • Broadway Video, Little Stranger Inc., in association with Universal Media Studios
Rip Torn as Don Geiss
30 Rock • NBC • Broadway Video, Little Stranger Inc., in association with Universal Media Studios
Will Arnett as Devin Banks
30 Rock • NBC • Broadway Video, Little Stranger Inc., in association with Universal Media Studios
Steve Buscemi as Len
30 Rock • NBC • Broadway Video, Little Stranger Inc., in association with Universal Media Studios
Tim Conway as Bucky Bright
Curb Your Enthusiasm • HBO • HBO Entertainment
Shelley Berman as Nat David

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Drama Series
ER • NBC • Constant c Productions, Amblin Television in association with Warner Bros. Television
Stanley Tucci as Dr. Kevin Moretti
In Treatment • HBO • Sheleg, Closest To The Hole Productions and Leverage in association with HBO Entertainment
Glynn Turman as Alex Sr.
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit • NBC • Wolf Films in association with Universal Media Studios
Robin Williams as Merritt Rook
Mad Men • AMC • Lionsgate Television
Robert Morse as Bertram Cooper
Nip/Tuck • FX Networks • The Shephard/Robin Company in association with Warner Bros. Television Productions, Inc. Oliver Platt as Freddie Prune
Rescue Me • FX Networks • Produced by Apostle, the Cloudland Company and DreamWorks Television in association with Sony Pictures Television, Charles Durning as John Gavin, Sr.

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series
30 Rock • NBC • Broadway Video, Little Stranger Inc., in association with Universal Media Studios
Carrie Fisher as Rosemary Howard
30 Rock • NBC • Broadway Video, Little Stranger Inc., in association with Universal Media Studios
Edie Falco as Celeste ‘C.C.’ Cunningham
30 Rock • NBC • Broadway Video, Little Stranger Inc., in association with Universal Media Studios
Elaine Stritch as Colleen Donaghy
Desperate Housewives • ABC • ABC Studios, Polly Bergen as Stella Wingfield
Desperate Housewives • ABC • ABC Studios, Kathryn Joosten as Karen McCluskey
Monk • USA • NBC Universal Television Studios in association with Mandeville Films and Touchstone Television, Sarah Silverman as Marci Maven

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series
Big Love • HBO • Anima Sola and Playtone in association with HBO Entertainment
Ellen Burstyn as Nancy Dutton
Grey’s Anatomy • ABC • ABC Studios, Diahann Carroll as Jane Burke
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit • NBC • Wolf Films in association with Universal Media Studios
Cynthia Nixon as Janis Donovan
Medium • NBC • CBS Paramount Network Television, Grammnet, Picturemaker Productions
Anjelica Huston as Cynthia Keener
Nip/Tuck • FX Networks • The Shephard/Robin Company in association with Warner Bros. Television Productions, Inc., Sharon Gless as Colleen Rose

For a complete list of the nominees please Click HERE.

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Drinking Again - A Reason Not To….

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 10/07/2008
Category: General «No Comments»

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Santa Rosa and the beaches mark July 4th with an explosion of events, including Woody Bradshaw (main attraction)

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 02/07/2008
Category: Mister D, Other, Woody «No Comments»

Pensacola News Journal
July 2, 2008
Santa Rosa and the beaches mark July 4th with an explosion of events
JEFFREY CASSADY

It’s almost July Fourth, and the relatively small—but immensely patriotic—cities and communities of Santa Rosa County are gearing up for a fireworks, music and hotdog-filled day of remembrance and celebration. Milton, Jay and Garcon Point in the north end of the county, and Navarre, Gulf Breeze and Pensacola Beach in the south are brimming with opportunities for locals and visitors to enjoy a day out with the family.

Pensacola Beach has a weekend of entertainment in store for the Fourth of July. The celebration, aptly named “KABOOM” by organizers, kicks off on Friday with a pre-fireworks concert. At 6 p.m., The Slammers will take the stage at the Gulf Side Pavilion on Casino Beach. Across the street, at the Quietwater Shell on Portofino Boardwalk, country acts Anna Garrott, Brad Caswell and Woody Bradshaw will perform.

“I think people are going to have a really great time,” said Doug McAllister, president of Fun Coast Promotions, the company that is organizing the events, “and it’s only happening because we have good community support.”

The fireworks show will begin at 9 p.m., followed by a post-fireworks party at Flounder’s Chowder House. Fireworks will be launched from Santa Rosa Sound.

Sandy Johnston, who serves as manager of the Pensacola Beach Information Center and as executive director of the Pensacola Beach Chamber of Commerce, said she expects the event to draw quite a crowd.

“People like the beach,” Johnston said, “but, they like the beach more when there are events like these. It’s a lot of fun.”

Activities will continue on Saturday with a Guinness’s World Record attempt. At 3 p.m., Pensacola News Journal and Bella Magazine, The Santa Rosa Pelican’s sister publication, will sponsor an attempt to fit a record-breaking number of swimsuit-clad women into a single photo.

At 8 p.m., a trio of Christian acts will hit the Gulfside Pavilion for “Drop In and Rock Out,” a Christian entertainment event. One Heart Hero and Philmont, Christian rock groups from Nashville, Tenn., and High Flight Society from Cedarville, Ga., will take to the stage. Tim Byrne, a professional freestyle skateboarder and evangelist, will also perform and speak at the event.

On Sunday, The Tams, a group from Atlanta, will play in the Quietwater Shell on Portofino Boardwalk.

Below are other Fourth of July events around Santa Rosa County. Navarre:

Navarre will play host to its regularly scheduled Thursday Evenings in the Park performance at 6 p.m. on July 3. Lektric Mullet, a Southern rock band, will perform.

The event will be followed by a fireworks show, with the fireworks being fired from the Santa Rosa Sound area. The fireworks display will start at dusk.

Kate Wilkes, executive director of the Santa Rosa Tourism Development Council, said the fireworks should be easily visible from practically anywhere near the Navarre Causeway. For more information, call 939-3267.

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The De-Briefing Of Eric Kornfeld By Mister D
The Main Man Behind “The Showgirl Must Go On”

Posted by The Divine Mister D on 26/06/2008
Category: General «No Comments»

Bootleg Betty Press
The De-Briefing Of Eric Kornfeld - Ten Questions Plus One
By Mister D
06-19-08

Mister D: My oh my, I never thought Eric and I would get this finished. We originally met and talked about an interview back in 2004 -2006….well it was somewhere in between there. Whatever long term memories I have left are embedded somewhere deep within my ass and as Bette once said, “please don’t make me go there.”

Anyhoo, this interview took so long (emailing back and forth), not because I’m a deep Diane Sawyer with all these important questions. No, it’s because I’m lazy and Mr. Kornfeld…Korny as I call him…..well, he has no time. A writer of his caliber doesn’t have a lot of time to be hobnobbing with a site named Bootleg Betty with an insane host called Mister D! Let’s just be honest. This guy is in demand.

Eric Kornfeld is a writer, actor, song parody-ist, stand-up, and we will probably be adding the titles producer and director in the future. He has worked with Rosie, Ms. Caroline Rhea, Judy Gold, and our own Divine Miss M, Bette Midler. He wrote and co-created “Kiss My Brass” with Bruce Vilanch, and now he has become the main writer for Bette’s smash Las Vegas show at Caesar’s Palace, “The Showgirl Must Go On” which begins its second leg Tuesday, June 24, 2008.

I’d like to say that Mr. Kornfeld is one of the nicest men I’ve met in show biz and in real life. He’s a gentleman, sexy to boot, and if only I were single, well he’d be the luckiest man alive….now it’s time to de-brief Mr. Kornfeld!:

The De-Briefing Of Eric Kornfeld - Ten Questions Plus One

1. What was the catalyst for you to go into the field of stand-up/comedy writing? What were you doing before comedy?

I was an actor — well, a chorus boy, really. I had just gotten my Equity card in a summer tour of BEST LITTLE WHORE HOUSE, starring Edie Adams, who I remembered from Cigar commercials when I was a really little. What happened was — every night the cast would go to a piano bar and take turns singing and I evolved into the MC. I was always a funny guy and I ended up holding the show together and getting lots of laughs. By the end of the tour, Edie pulled me aside and told me she’d been married to the comic genius Ernie Kovacs, which I knew. I knew he was in early television but didn’t know as much about him as I do now. Anyway, the stand up scene was taking off and she said, “You’re a comedian. You have the mind and the timing of a comedian, you should go into that field.” Or something like that. So when I got back to New York and started auditioning again, I was available for unemployment for the first time in my life. That was when Unemployment was really a drag to collect. You had to go in person every week and stand in lots of lines. One day I wrote a bit about Unemployment and started going to “open mike” nights at comedy clubs and performing it. It was my first bit. In less than 2 years I was on Star Search and started making my living as a comic, touring and even writing for other comics. Then I got hired on the Rosie O’Donell show and that was the beginning of my life as a writer. I did stand-up and wrote for a while but soon more writing opportunities opened up and I stopped performing. Shortly after that I got my first job for Bette.

2. Who would you say was your main comedic influence (s)?

Growing up, I thought Steve Martin was the most talented person I’d ever seen. I loved his albums, his TV appearances, his movies, his books. I also worshiped Woody Allen. Then in college, I discovered the Marx Brothers and Groucho and I thought he was a real comic genius. While I was doing stand up, I read a book by Joan Rivers and thought she too was hilarious. I wasn’t as aware of Bette until THE ROSE and her subsequent rise as a movie star. But I thought she was brilliant in DOWN AND OUT and RUTHLESS PEOPLE. Then I rented her concerts and HBO Specials and discovered what a natural comedienne she was.

3..Can you explain to the readers of Bootleg Betty how you first came to the attention of Bette Midler?

A buddy of mine, director Scott Barnes*, called because he was directing Bette at the Javits Center for the Goldman Sachs holiday party. It was a huge event and they were making a huge donation to NYRP. This was the winter of the year of her sitcom, which I wanted to work on. Scott asked me to send some Wall Street jokes. I was working for a company called MommyChannel dot com which was about to go belly dot up. I worked the entire Thanksgiving weekend on the jokes and got the gig. They called me to come to rehearsal. I showed up and saw Bette — tiny and wearing glasses — on her cell phone. She looked at me and said, “Is that your computer?” referring to the case I was was carrying. I said “Yes” and the rest, as they say, is histerical.

*Scott Barnes was Nancy Lamott’s director, manager and dear friend. He had a lot to do with her great success as a cabaret star.

4. You mentioned you worked with Rosie, but I also know you worked for Caroline Rhea on her talk show. And of course now you’re working with The Divine Miss M, Bette Midler. Do you prefer working with women? Compare and contrast their working styles.

Bette, Rosie and Caroline are all very creative talents. They are not just performers but writers, directors and producers as well. They know how it should look, sound and play. I’ve known Caroline the longest. We were comedians together back in the day and we have been friends for over 15 years. She is one of the nicest celebrities you’ll ever meet and she does so much for the gay community. If there is a Pride event in your town, there’s a good chance she’s been there. Actually I just worked on a game show pilot with Caroline for Logo. It’s hilarious and I hope they pick it up. She is one of the funniest people I’ve ever known and does so much of her own writing. We bounce a lot of stuff off of each other when I work with her.

I met Rosie when I started on the Rosie O’Donnell show and we had pretty standard ways of working there. Pitch ideas in the morning, then work on her monologue stuff, usually based on what she wanted to talk about. She’s a writer too and she always knew how to make something the funniest it could be. She made every idea better.

Bette is a funny, funny singer and entertainer. With Bette, I’ve had the opportunity to write lyrics and work on big concepts for both KISS MY BRASS and THE SHOWGIRL MUST GO ON. I’ve gotten to see big ideas through. Writing a show from the opening number to the final bow. I’ve learned so much about my 2 favorite things, music and comedy. If I hadn’t worked with Bette I may have never had the idea to write my own musical, which I’m working on with composer and Rosie bandleader, John McDaniel.

I’ve also written for comedians, Judy Gold (one of my best friends), Lynn Koplitz, Patty Rosborough, John Pinette and Buddy Bolten. I do work with women primarily. They “get” me and I “get” them. Three fierce women I would love the opportunity to work with are Christine Ebersole, Jennifer Hudson and Carrie Underwood

5. Can you clarify what you and John McDaniel are working on? Just curiosity.

Yes. John is one of my best pals. Besides writing our musical, THE TITANS, we’ve written several pop songs. We recently sent one to Dolly Parton.

6. Can you take us through a somewhat typical day of working on a show like “Kiss My Brass” and “The Showgirl Must Go On?”

Well, every day is a little different but we start back into rehearsal for SHOWGIRL this Monday in LA. We’ll work at Sony Studios for 2 weeks, then Bette returns to Caesar’s and starts her second month of shows on June 24. This is her first time back after almost 3 months off so we have a lot to do. It’s not just getting back in the swing. We are making some slight changes and adding a song!

The first thing we’ll do is work on the Delores chunk of the show. In this show, Delores is the middle piece and we have 22 girls in wheelchairs. The showgirls and musicians have been doing other things since March 23 so getting that on it’s feet again (or should I say “tail”) is a big deal.

I’m also “freshening” the script with some new current events and pop culture references and we will try them in different places and see what we (Bette and the creative team) like the most. It’s always great to see what the band laughs at.

While we’re in LA, Bette will also tape a performance with ALL the showgirls and the Harlettes to be played on The View. She will also appear on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. So everyone will be involved in rehearsing those performances as well. Since almost everything Bette does includes music, choreography and comedy, our creative team works pretty closely on almost everything. Everyone weighs in, you know?

I usually get to the studio by 10:00 AM. Bette shows up at 11 most days and we leave at night when we’ve gotten through the rehearsal schedule for the day. We have a lunch break and everyone has dinner together at 6. Run throughs with the full band are usually the last thing we do. They begin after dinner and depending on “starts and stops”, go to 8, 9 or even 10.

7. Not to blow smoke up your ass, but it seems to me that comics, whether stand-up and/or writers, are extremely smart, logical, and quick-witted. I’m talking top of the line writers like myself, Maher, Carlin, Seinfeld, Kornfeld. Etc. Now seriously, don’t you have to do a lot of reading, watching TV, combing the internet for your writing material. Can you basically run us through the comic’s mind and tell us what you have to go through to come up with such a vast amount of material? For example, what papers, books, shows, processes like mind mapping, etc…

The short answer is yes. I try to glance at the NY Times every day but it’s hard. Here we are in LA
for 2 weeks getting the show on it’s feet, adding changes, etc. and there are just not enough hours in the day. Things like PEOPLE and US WEEKLY are a must. (BTW, catch Bette in US Weekly this week with lots of “our” hilarious costume captions. Classic Korn-man). And of course I rely on the Internet.

Anyway, a good example right now is — the other day McCain made the gaffe of admitting he’s computer illiterate. I’m hoping it becomes a big joke so we can refer to it in the show so I’m keeping my eyes and ears peeled. Last night, none of the late night hosts (Dave, Jay, Jimmy) mentioned it. BTW, catch Bette on Leno this Friday night, and you’ll see how we get some of the show jokes into her answers to Jay’s questions. That’s one of the things I help her with.

As far as “…what I go through” — I am a comedy writer so I do have a talent for this but one always needs information, especially when dealing with politics, current events and pop culture.

8. When you’re working for Ms. Midler, are you allowed to work on side projects as well?

Yes. For the year we put the show together, I was “exclusive” and it became impossible to do anything else — even pee or take a nap. But now, when I’m doing fixes and changes, the tour book and/or the web site, I have time to freelance.

9. Since Mister D has no future, many of us are curious what the future holds for Mr. Kornfeld? Or Korny, if you like?

Well, I’m hoping Caroline Rhea’s game show, GAYME NIGHT, gets picked up by Logo. I’m the writer on that. I’m also working on an off Broadway show called, MY SINATRA as well as my own big, Broadway musical with my writing partner; composer, John McDaniel.

10. Last but not least, what’s your favorite Bette Midler song and movie?

My favorite Bette movie is FOR THE BOYS because I love the score. It’s great music for her. I LOVE the scene up front, with STUFF LIKE THAT THERE right into PS, I LOVE YOU, when all the soldiers shine their flashlights on Dixie, wearing nothing but an officer’s jacket. Classic Bette.

11. And one more for the road: Lame question, but I wanted to know how you relax?????

The old fashioned way — with drugs and alcohol. Actually, I go to the gym a lot and I draw all the time. I draw on everything.

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